you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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