I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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