what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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