i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
