and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
