my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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