He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
