I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
