Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
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