glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
