accomplished twins. life is a go
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
