Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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