Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
