Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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