your room smells of hookers.
And success
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
well, you know. whores of a feather.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
