so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
