Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
