I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
