I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
