you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Randomize
