apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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