Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
