Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
