but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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