My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
