thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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