True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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