Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
