You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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