Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
