I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
