id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
