Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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