I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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