My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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