At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
