Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
