Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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