you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
