just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
