Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Randomize
