as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
