My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
