grandma shit on top of the toilet
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
