I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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