shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
