I don't remember. Are we still dating?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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