the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
we're making bets on your personal life
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
