My brain says no but my pants say off.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
