So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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