No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
